I read this awesome article about a pregnant Mom who really wanted a community garden plot. She really wanted to be the Mom that took her kids to the garden after school to pick veggies for dinner. And then when she finally got her plot, she was so busy with everything else and being a mom to two kids and a wife and everything else that she put off being a gardener. And it made her feel bad about herself, like because she couldn't live up to this ideal of what she wanted to do, she was inferior. And finally she realized that just because she had good intentions, having a garden plot didn't make her a good mom or a good wife, and she gave it up and was happy.
That whole long story correlates to this blog. I want so badly to write in my journal everyday. I want to write my hopes and dreams etc. And I don't. I just don't. I have pages with post-its from years ago saying "Write about this day!!!" No. Not gonna happen. Instead, I go on the computer. I do everything on the internet, and journaling has to be one of those things.
So, before I play another game of League of Legends with my husband, let me say hi. And that you'll be hearing more from me soon.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Woop! Back in Simi
Should I keep my blog better? Probably. We're back in Simi! All of the sudden our whole Riverside adventure is over. I'll admit it- I cried a little bit. Especially because we got engaged in that apartment, and now we can never go inside it again :(
But onwards and upwards! Onwards and upwards to living in one room at my in-laws house. Haha. Our cats are at my Mom's. Our stuff is literally crammed ceiling high in the other room. Guineas are stuffed in there with the stuff. It's interesting. Max is at work all day, and I go to school or my mom's house, and then come back here at night with Max.
Speaking of the job. Max finished his first week today, and so far he says it's been okay. He's annoyed that they won't let him work at his own computer yet. I get upset because he's been working 8.5 hours everyday, and he gets home at 6. And goes to bed at 11. :( I miss our all night League of Legends games, which we still play.... just for only the 5 hours instead of 10.
I'm looking for seasonal work. At this point I think I'm going to be at Moorpark again next semester doing general ed and the photo classes they offer. I'm hoping to be able to work a few months now, and then stop next semester when I'll be back to full time. I just applied for a photo assistant at the Santa mall photography thing at The Oaks mall. I would be beyond excited to work at something like that, and possibly get actual professional experience/ editing experience. I'm really praying for it honestly.
I'm at a crossroads of where I can end up. I was exploring the animal care career path for awhile, but it's narrowing down with complications. I enjoyed Petsmart, but it was more retail than anything. I HATED grooming at Petco. And there was the EATM option, but it's looking like I won't have the required classes down before I apply in the spring. And I'm not sure if I want to spend 2 years of hard core unpaid work like that, and then have my options to be limited to zoos and the like, which there aren't a lot of here. And if zoo work is my road, then EATM isn't necessarily a requirement to do so.
So, I can continue my path of music" which offers so many cons. Yes, I would finish quickly, but that doesn't mean it would be easy. I could continue my path to performance, but I will never be a performer past community theater for fun. I could do music ed- but I really honestly despise teaching people things. So I can't imagine that working. The only option would be a general degree- but what's the point? Or a music therapy degree- which I am looking into. Honestly the only reason I would continue would be so I could be a good singer again and feel like a boss. And then sit in church and have random ladies tell me to join choir. And maybe sing my kids arias or something.
And then there's the photography path. The "something I've always really loved and never explored because of music" path. And this path will actually lend to career opportunities. If I can work in a studio part time, and be a Mom and a housewife, I will be overjoyed. If I can find something that doesn't make me want to kill myself at a retail/ food/ 9-5 office job, I will be fulfilled. At this point, I'm really leaning that way, even if it means starting over with my basic art classes and junk, But to make an art portfolio actually makes me really excited.
Tomorrow we are looking at apartments. Specifically in Wood Ranch. We really like them so far, and they allow cats which is a plus so we don't have to sneak them in. We're hoping for mid October to move in and set up. So we will get the holidays in our little place together. It has super mixed reviews of being awesome and horrible- so who knows? We'll see what the verdict is tomorrow.
But onwards and upwards! Onwards and upwards to living in one room at my in-laws house. Haha. Our cats are at my Mom's. Our stuff is literally crammed ceiling high in the other room. Guineas are stuffed in there with the stuff. It's interesting. Max is at work all day, and I go to school or my mom's house, and then come back here at night with Max.
Speaking of the job. Max finished his first week today, and so far he says it's been okay. He's annoyed that they won't let him work at his own computer yet. I get upset because he's been working 8.5 hours everyday, and he gets home at 6. And goes to bed at 11. :( I miss our all night League of Legends games, which we still play.... just for only the 5 hours instead of 10.
I'm looking for seasonal work. At this point I think I'm going to be at Moorpark again next semester doing general ed and the photo classes they offer. I'm hoping to be able to work a few months now, and then stop next semester when I'll be back to full time. I just applied for a photo assistant at the Santa mall photography thing at The Oaks mall. I would be beyond excited to work at something like that, and possibly get actual professional experience/ editing experience. I'm really praying for it honestly.
I'm at a crossroads of where I can end up. I was exploring the animal care career path for awhile, but it's narrowing down with complications. I enjoyed Petsmart, but it was more retail than anything. I HATED grooming at Petco. And there was the EATM option, but it's looking like I won't have the required classes down before I apply in the spring. And I'm not sure if I want to spend 2 years of hard core unpaid work like that, and then have my options to be limited to zoos and the like, which there aren't a lot of here. And if zoo work is my road, then EATM isn't necessarily a requirement to do so.
So, I can continue my path of music" which offers so many cons. Yes, I would finish quickly, but that doesn't mean it would be easy. I could continue my path to performance, but I will never be a performer past community theater for fun. I could do music ed- but I really honestly despise teaching people things. So I can't imagine that working. The only option would be a general degree- but what's the point? Or a music therapy degree- which I am looking into. Honestly the only reason I would continue would be so I could be a good singer again and feel like a boss. And then sit in church and have random ladies tell me to join choir. And maybe sing my kids arias or something.
And then there's the photography path. The "something I've always really loved and never explored because of music" path. And this path will actually lend to career opportunities. If I can work in a studio part time, and be a Mom and a housewife, I will be overjoyed. If I can find something that doesn't make me want to kill myself at a retail/ food/ 9-5 office job, I will be fulfilled. At this point, I'm really leaning that way, even if it means starting over with my basic art classes and junk, But to make an art portfolio actually makes me really excited.
Tomorrow we are looking at apartments. Specifically in Wood Ranch. We really like them so far, and they allow cats which is a plus so we don't have to sneak them in. We're hoping for mid October to move in and set up. So we will get the holidays in our little place together. It has super mixed reviews of being awesome and horrible- so who knows? We'll see what the verdict is tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Honeymoon Phase
I read a lot of young married girl's posts about marriage, and how it was so blissful in the beginning, and slowly became hard to share and take care of each other, etc. and then the hard work begins.
And I think I'm more lucky than I realized in my relationship if that's the case. Because everyone who finds out that I've been married only 6 months says "Aw Honeymoon phase!" And I smile and say "Sure" and secretly think about how we fight all the time, and our relationship has the same dynamic between us as when we were dating/engaged and how we aren't having "crazy newlywed sex" like everyone and the media thinks we should be, and sometimes I get worried that there's something wrong.
But really, when I read how hard it is for young couples who come down from the honeymoon phase, and then realize that "Oh we don't know each other at all because we've been together 2 months" I can't help but be relieved that we never had a "honeymoon phase", because then there's nothing to fall down from. Seriously, the closest we got to one was our Senior year in high school, where I specifically remember saying "We NEVER fight! We must be perfect!" Ha.Ha.
But that's the thing about real relationships, people aren't perfect. Max and I are so different from each other. By every compatibility test there is, we are not supposed to be happy. And through 4 years of people saying "Stop giving Max chances" I always knew that it would work out. I still have dreams that I settled for some other guy, and I'm talking to my Mom and just saying "Why am I not with Max? What happened?"
I don't know if everyone has a soul mate, and if they do, I feel like most people may pass theirs up at the first sign of a fight or breakup. But if soul mates exist, and God already decided on me and Max, or maybe we decided a long time ago in the pre-existence that we would be together (I can just imagine it. "I'll find you on Earth, but I'm going to be a huge jerk for awhile" "It's ok, I will be too!) then what I do know is that soul mate does not equal "honeymoon phase". It equals "Wow you really suck right now, but I love you so much that we're going to kiss and make up and play with the kittens together in 15 minutes."
So here's to the couples that think there's something wrong, because they fought the day after the wedding, and they fought on their honeymoon, but they wouldn't change anything, because real married couples don't get along all the time, but they always make up.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
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Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Marriage Day 5
I locked my keys in the laundry room last night. It was cool. Also, the laundry was still in the dryer.
Max watched "What to Expect When You're Expecting" with me (kind of), and I found out that J-Lo's character is named Holly Castillo. Imagine that.
Max watched "What to Expect When You're Expecting" with me (kind of), and I found out that J-Lo's character is named Holly Castillo. Imagine that.
Marriage Day 4
Let me start out by saying, today was extremely successful. And I am grateful for this. Ate a waffle, Max came home from class early, went to Target, got Max a dress shirt, a hammer, a stepstool for short Holly, Mancala, a bookcase, kitchen towels, ate pasta from Target's Pizza Hut, went to PetSmart, went to a sketchy thrift store and pawn shop, put together a bookcase and a shelf thing, made beef stew, got some frozen yogurt, put away wedding gifts, used the Magic Bullet, swept and mopped, cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed some stuff, did laundry, and Max started watching Bob's Burgers with me.
Actually, that's really all I want to say. I did my homework assignments, I've been cleaning all day, I'm tired. I'm done.
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